Originally published at road2wholeness.com at 4/5/16
Just as promised, today I'm going behind the scenes of Self-Love. In the last blog I talked about how God's Love and our appreciation for His divine design should be the basis for a good and healthy self-love. I believe that by looking at God's love and His divine touch as the basis for our self-love, that it brings order and authenticity to our self-view. Therefore, I'm not loving myself because my hair looks good, I'm in my dream job, I've lost weight, or because I am pleased with my life. That will not sustain self-love. The premise of our self-love has to be built on an unchanging truth; so when the facts of our lives change, our self-love will be unchanging.
However, today I would like to look at the three major components of self-love that we must deal with on the human level.
The first is Self-Acceptance. Self-Acceptance is ultimately where we find satisfaction within ourselves and is vital for good mental health. When we cannot accept ourselves it affects our ability to truly be good to ourselves because we are then relying on others to see our worth and ultimately subjecting ourselves to someone else's perception of value. This is a very dangerous place to be. There is no life in waiting for a daily report on what someone else says our value will be or how we will be received. We must know our own value. We must understand who we are before we can expect anyone else to understand who we are. And as for the things we would like to change about ourselves; we change them with the employment of compassion.
The second major component of self-love is Self-Appreciation. Self-Appreciation is founded on the idea of understanding our worth. Therefore we must estimate and evaluate our qualities, gifts, knowledge, hearts, abilities, etc. and give them a proper value. If we are always striving to be better in our lives then surely we are always growing in these areas and thus we have an appreciating value rather than a depreciating value. That is why some people will naturally leave us as we grow and add value to ourselves; they leave because our value has outgrown what they are currently willing to offer. Thus, when we try to hold on, we devalue ourselves and we feel cheated.
Before I continue with the next component of self-love, I'll like to draw a picture. Think about a marketplace. There's a seller and a buyer. The buyer will ask the cost. A good seller will calculate the basic worth (cost of goods), the labor, and other related expenses. A great seller will take all those into consideration but will look even closer at the value. A great seller will think, what is the "true value" of the consumer having this product... i.e. "What will it save them in time?" "What will it do to boost the buyer's confidence?" etc. Therefore value and worth can be seen as synonymous and interchangeable and yet separate and different. I encourage you to know your value!
The third major component of self-love is Self-Esteem. This is the one that we hear about all the time. Like self-love, I sometimes feel that the term is loosely used and hardly defined. I am a believer in giving tools, developing understanding, and not just dancing on the surface of reality. Self-Esteem is the confidence and admiration component of self-love. It's what comes after we've said, "I accept the Divine design that I am", "I am going to love myself as I continue to improve the things about me that are in my power to improve upon.", "I am not going to wait for anyone else to determine my value or to validate my worth.", and "I am clear about my value and I will not cheat myself." When we cannot only make those statements but live those statements then we are expressing a highly authentic and healthy self-esteem.
Ultimately, a low self-esteem reflects separation from the awareness of our source and is the proof of either forgetfulness or misinformation. We cannot exhibit a healthy self-esteem until we tackle self-acceptance. And we cannot tackle self-acceptance until we understand that we are created by the same source that created the very universe we so greatly admire and live in awe over. In addition, we cannot consider self-appreciation until we consider our true value. These are the components of self-love and we cannot be fully functioning expressions of God when these components are out of whack thus causing our self-love to be broken or non-existent.
Therefore I encourage you to "Go within that you may never go without". The God within you awaits you! Until our paths collide again, I wish you... Peace, Love, Life, and Harmony!
In Service,
NaTisha Renee Williams
the "Emotional Life" coach
Just as promised, today I'm going behind the scenes of Self-Love. In the last blog I talked about how God's Love and our appreciation for His divine design should be the basis for a good and healthy self-love. I believe that by looking at God's love and His divine touch as the basis for our self-love, that it brings order and authenticity to our self-view. Therefore, I'm not loving myself because my hair looks good, I'm in my dream job, I've lost weight, or because I am pleased with my life. That will not sustain self-love. The premise of our self-love has to be built on an unchanging truth; so when the facts of our lives change, our self-love will be unchanging.
However, today I would like to look at the three major components of self-love that we must deal with on the human level.
The first is Self-Acceptance. Self-Acceptance is ultimately where we find satisfaction within ourselves and is vital for good mental health. When we cannot accept ourselves it affects our ability to truly be good to ourselves because we are then relying on others to see our worth and ultimately subjecting ourselves to someone else's perception of value. This is a very dangerous place to be. There is no life in waiting for a daily report on what someone else says our value will be or how we will be received. We must know our own value. We must understand who we are before we can expect anyone else to understand who we are. And as for the things we would like to change about ourselves; we change them with the employment of compassion.
The second major component of self-love is Self-Appreciation. Self-Appreciation is founded on the idea of understanding our worth. Therefore we must estimate and evaluate our qualities, gifts, knowledge, hearts, abilities, etc. and give them a proper value. If we are always striving to be better in our lives then surely we are always growing in these areas and thus we have an appreciating value rather than a depreciating value. That is why some people will naturally leave us as we grow and add value to ourselves; they leave because our value has outgrown what they are currently willing to offer. Thus, when we try to hold on, we devalue ourselves and we feel cheated.
Before I continue with the next component of self-love, I'll like to draw a picture. Think about a marketplace. There's a seller and a buyer. The buyer will ask the cost. A good seller will calculate the basic worth (cost of goods), the labor, and other related expenses. A great seller will take all those into consideration but will look even closer at the value. A great seller will think, what is the "true value" of the consumer having this product... i.e. "What will it save them in time?" "What will it do to boost the buyer's confidence?" etc. Therefore value and worth can be seen as synonymous and interchangeable and yet separate and different. I encourage you to know your value!
The third major component of self-love is Self-Esteem. This is the one that we hear about all the time. Like self-love, I sometimes feel that the term is loosely used and hardly defined. I am a believer in giving tools, developing understanding, and not just dancing on the surface of reality. Self-Esteem is the confidence and admiration component of self-love. It's what comes after we've said, "I accept the Divine design that I am", "I am going to love myself as I continue to improve the things about me that are in my power to improve upon.", "I am not going to wait for anyone else to determine my value or to validate my worth.", and "I am clear about my value and I will not cheat myself." When we cannot only make those statements but live those statements then we are expressing a highly authentic and healthy self-esteem.
Ultimately, a low self-esteem reflects separation from the awareness of our source and is the proof of either forgetfulness or misinformation. We cannot exhibit a healthy self-esteem until we tackle self-acceptance. And we cannot tackle self-acceptance until we understand that we are created by the same source that created the very universe we so greatly admire and live in awe over. In addition, we cannot consider self-appreciation until we consider our true value. These are the components of self-love and we cannot be fully functioning expressions of God when these components are out of whack thus causing our self-love to be broken or non-existent.
Therefore I encourage you to "Go within that you may never go without". The God within you awaits you! Until our paths collide again, I wish you... Peace, Love, Life, and Harmony!
In Service,
NaTisha Renee Williams
the "Emotional Life" coach
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