The Safe Haven: The ReWIRED Life, Pt. 4

Originally published at road2wholeness.com on 10/16/16

Welcome back!  Thank you for taking the read today and another stroll with The Road2Wholeness Blog.
So, I've been in this blog series "The ReWIRED Life" for some weeks now.  This blog is the fourth blog in the series.  In the most true to life fashion, I knew clearly where the road began and I knew exactly where I was going, but I didn't know what would unfold in between.  That being said, I'm happy with the unfolding of the story and this series.  Never mind my kicking and screaming!  Oh yes, I kick and I scream but God knows His plans are not to harm me and so He listens, but He is not swayed.  LOL!
I'll put you at ease and say, there will only be one more blog to come in is this series.  With that, let's do a quick overview of what's been covered.  In the initial blog I wrote about the moment of inception when I was strongly nudged to catch a new vision for my life and how I made a swift departure from my old way of being in support of that vision.  The second blog in the series, revealed my current awareness of self through the use of scripture and how that truth governed my decision to become celibate even before I was fully aware of it and could fully articulate it.  I followed that blog up with a recollection of how I came to know of God and a moment of Thanksgiving for the hearing of The Word of God.  I also revealed how The Word of God acts to separate the truth of who we are from the lies and wounds that have been impressed on our souls.
Today I will cover the moment I entered the permissible will of God.  
I called out to God for help and He promptly returned my call.  He said, "come".  Notice, I called on God and then God called on me.  Therefore, we are never waiting on God; there is always something we must do to arrive at the next place of blessing or even to be healed.  That moment of hearing back from God is the place I spoke of in the initial blog.  The place where everyone could not go with me.  The place where I would enter into surgery and it would be between me and the Lord.  Yet, I said permissible will!  The idea that man goes straight from rebellion to God's perfect will is absolutely insane.  This is why many people frown upon Christian people and sometimes even Christians frown upon their own brothers and sisters in Christ.  We can't judge believers for not being in God's perfect will or not being an exact reflection of God's image and likeness.   It's a process!!!   Hello.  I just feel like I need to say that again!  IT'S A PROCESS!  His image and likeness was marred in us by our rebellion.  It doesn't just go away. That's the misconception about being saved.  Yes, we are saved yet we've been depraved.  But Jesus intercedes for us and works to restore us.  Salvation is instant but restoration is a process.  Our humanity (i.e. our flesh, our depravity, our personal will) makes restoration a process.
So, back to the moment I made the step towards God.  God said, "come".  Yes, He was prepared to show me and guide me, but He could not move for me.  My surgery would be a series of steps.  Those steps were designed to bring me into His perfect will.  Not a generalized will of God, but a specific; distinct; God-breathed will for my life.  Sad to say, but not very many people can get into the perfect will of God for their lives because most are paying too much attention to God's will for someone else's life.  We have to seek to be isolated with God for the clarity of His will for our individual lives and to obtain the strength to walk it out.  All who God used greatly had to know God intimately or personally.  As we walk back to God, He covers us.  He sustains us even outside of His perfect will because He sees our heart is to answer the call.  
This is why when I entered the doors of The Universal Truth Center back in 2004, God allowed me to stay there for nearly a decade.  There were some things I needed to get deep down in my soul before I could return to a traditional church where many disregard the process and the work required to be well and whole but regards wellness and wholeness as an instantaneous gift of salvation.  Even as they look at people suffer they just keep saying, let's pray.  And although God keeps saying... "come" (i.e. move, do, step, learn, hear, see, understand, seek, forgive, unpack... etc.), they remain in wait.  I am a strong believer in prayer but I believe our prayers should be offered to support what God is trying to do.  Therefore, if God asks me to come and I feel fear, I will pray for courage, but I won't sit there and say.. "Lord, you'll find a way to get me there".  
I find it interesting that Jesus healed many people but only a few did He specifically tell they had become whole.  These were the people who demonstrated great faith and understanding, and He knew it because they proved it.  They did or said something that let Him know that they understood something that the average man did not understand.  This is the difference between believers and followers of Christ.  The believer can exist forever as saved and not advance the Kingdom of God or even see the full Glory of God, but the follower is called to move out in faith where he can personally experience the Glory of God and be so touched, moved, and enlightened that he will then deny himself, pick up his cross, and become a disciple.  
During the time that I remained at UTC, I was able to come into the awareness of how God sees me and how valuable I am to Him.  As I came to understand that God wasn't angry with me and had no desire to kill me, my healing began.  You see, before I could even see Christ as a gift from God, I had to believe that God loved me and that can also be a process.  There, I was able to relish in the awareness of God's Love without any interference.  My fear dissipated and my confidence grew.  Once I understood God's love for me, I discovered how to love me.  The more I meditated on God's love; my self-love and self-esteem grew.  And oh how I needed self-love and self-esteem.  The more my self-esteem grew, the more my self-worth increased and I became less emotionally dependent on men.  In 2005 I arrived at celibacy.  However, I still saw my life as my life and this would go on for many years still.  I made decisions as I saw fit and according to what I understood.  I valued my opinion and I ruled my life.  There was much cooperation but there was no real submission.  Not because I wanted to be rebellious or delay my destiny but for a lack of knowledge.  Whenever study of the bible would come up, I would shut it out or shut it down.  After all, that was the book that I associated with a harsh and unforgiving God and I wanted no part of that.  I did not know and had not realized then that I had been reared (brought up) using the knowledge of an old covenant (agreement/contract)  and that I was never really made aware of the new covenant that existed through Christ.  Surely, I was loved but not saved!  I had to accept the gift!  But how would He do it?  How would He get me to value His strength over mine now that I felt so strong?  And, who would He use?
I'll tell you all in the next and final blog in this series.  But ponder some of this for a minute.  Where is God in your story?  Better yet, Who are you in God's story?  Ask the tough questions you need to ask to provoke a move of God.  Pray until Jesus says.... Who touched me?  Thanks for walking with me today!
Remember to go within, that you may never go without.  The God within you, awaits you!  Until our paths collide again, I wish you... Peace, Love, Life, and Harmony!
In Service,

NaTisha Renee Williams
The "Emotional Life" Coach


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