Unburdened: The Reason for Forgiveness

Originally published at road2wholeness.com on 5/16/16

Welcome!  Thanks for taking the read!

Today is subject is the Forgiveness!  What a big deal!  Forgiveness is literally an ongoing practice.  If you're thinking you're out of the forgiving business then you must be willing to freeze yourself in time.  It's a well-known and agreed upon fact that none of us are perfect, however some of us relinquish that thought and pick up the idea that we are pretty darn close.  Forgiveness is the grace we show to others and it is the offloading of emotional and mental loads that keep our energies tied up, used up, and depleted.  Honestly, without faith I don't know how I would be able to process forgiveness.  If I honestly thought that my life was in the hands of people and was being governed by people I would probably find it impossible to forgive, but no!  I know, trust, and believe that my life is in the hands of The Creator and my faith gives me the resolve to forgive. 


Yet forgiveness is tricky; mainly because un-forgiveness can sometimes be polite and cordial.  Most people probably expect un-forgiveness to show up as a strong definite voice of disapproval and/or anger but instead many are left with quiet resentment.  It's important to look at un-forgiveness through the lenses of resentment because that is often what it is reduced to.  Some people's bitterness can be contained and therefore is purely directed towards the subject of the bitterness but for others, bitterness consumes their entire being and infects every area of their life.  In either case the weight of the bitterness is a burden that the person chooses to carry when they really don't have to.  I wouldn't want to oversimplify hurt but I think it's worth noting that in life and in the bare nature of corresponding and relating with each other that sometimes our feelings will get stepped on.  There are also times when people are more conscious of their decision to hurt us and make no apologies.  In those moments our faith and our ability to stay upright is surely tested but ultimately we must decide who we are going to be in the world.  Perhaps you have heard the sentiment, "we cannot allow ourselves to become the very things we dislike" or perhaps you've heard it put as, "be the change you want to see in the world".  Either one of these two phrases really helps to put it all in perspective.


I sometimes think the hardest part of forgiveness may be the realization at times that you aren't going to get an apology.  That's rough because from children we were made to make an apology when we did something wrong or treated someone unfairly and if we were standing on the other side, it was implied that there would always be an apology issued.  The truth is if you really think back and be honest; many times as children we obliged and issued apologies when we were directed to but many times if it were left up to us we would probably go on without doing so even in the realization of being wrong.  There's something about apologizing that humans just don't particularly seemed wired for.  No excuses!  ...But an observation.  I think it's important to look at these things because it brings a level of humanity and understanding to the situation.  The more shoes you can step into; the more you are able to level with people and humanity as a whole or see yourself in others, the more equipped you will be for forgiveness.  I think un-forgiveness at times can be an inability to see ourselves in others.  Furthermore, people who have no compassion for self certainly won't be able to find any compassion for others.  Therefore, once again just as in Love.... we are our own training ground.  We practice self-forgiveness and we learn to forgive others. 


Coming from a background and childhood that involved a lot of pain; I regularly search my heart and mind for hidden resentment and un-forgiveness.  Mainly I search because I understand the relation between un-forgiveness and sickness.  Ultimately, I choose health and wellbeing over being right.  I choose health and wellbeing over an apology.  I choose health and wellbeing over bitterness and vengeance.  Furthermore, how can I soar with the burden and weight of un-forgiveness on my back?  Better yet... How can anyone soar holding on to hurt, pain, and afflictions.  They can't!  We can't!  I can't!  And there's just no chance that I'm going to stay grounded that way.  I was born to fly.  I have wings and I plan to use them.  I plan to stay light and take flight.  I plan to use the power of forgiveness to heal and evolve because if I spend my life waiting on an apology; at the end of my life, I will owe life an apology.  Life is a gift; let's live it wisely!!


Go forth and launch a campaign of forgiveness in your life.  Start with yourself.  Forgive your own trespasses against self.  Reconcile it in your heart.  Then move on to forgiving the people that have hurt you.  Bless them.  Truly bless them!  Not as a sign that you are super holy but the truth is that you haven't forgiven someone until you can ask a blessing for them.  Not to mention, forgiveness is the greatest gift you can offer a person when you see that they are really struggling with what they've done yet they can't seem to say I'm sorry.  And just in case you're wondering, it's not necessarily about reestablishing anything; some things, people, and relationships are simply out of season.  But let your heart go free!  Drop the load of it all!  Forgive and be forgiven!


Be absolutely Blessed!  Until our paths collide again, I wish you... Peace, Love, Life, and Harmony!


In Service,


NaTisha Renee Williams
the "Emotional Life" Coach






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