Am I Worthless If I Decide To Have A One-Night Stand?

This is a tricky question. The question I would pose to you is, "Are you healthy enough to have a one night stand?" Secondly, "Are you positive that you and this person will never have sexual relations again?" and lastly, "Are both parties aware that this is to be a one-night stand?"

I ask all three of these questions for a very specific reason and from an insider's perspective. To touch on the first question: it is very important that you know why you are engaging or wanting to engage in a one-night stand. Sometimes our minds play tricks on us. For example, if your ultimate goal or desire is to share yourself with someone in a committed relationship then having a one-night stand will never sit well with you (though you may still go forward with it eventually you may feel strong guilt or shame). This seeming need may be you expressing a lack of commitment to yourself, a lack of commitment to finding someone worthy of sharing your life with, or even a deeply rooted doubt that you will ever find someone to share your life with. Pay attention to what you're really thinking and ultimately saying. If you have worked hard to achieve emotional wellness, ask yourself if this one-night stand is worth possibly disrupting your peace.

This is where my second question comes in. If you are planning a one-night stand with a co-worker, old-friend, or ex-boyfriend, be real careful. All of these examples have the potential to turn into routine sexual relationships. I say this because here are pre-established relationships with pre-established feelings and a clear path to further corresponding with the individual. Therefore be honest with yourself about your needs, your discipline, and your intentions. As we can all probably attest to; sex is addictive and good-sex even more so. Do not put yourself in a position to be left wanting to develop a relationship from a one-night stand or re-entering a dead-end relationship through a one-night stand.

Lastly, I asked the question whether everyone involved has established the encounter as a one-night stand? Once you have sat with your thoughts and have fully determined your intentions, I think it's important to be honest with the other person. Part of being an emotionally stable person is also promoting the emotional stability of others. Therefore don't plan a one-night stand with someone who is hoping for a relationship. Communicate your intentions clearly and if the other person is not comfortable with the idea then it probably won't happen but make a healthy decision not to prey on anyone.

Now to address the question of worthlessness. First, let me say that you can never be worthless; there's just too much God in you for that. However, ask yourself the question, "What kind of statement am I making by engaging in a one-night stand?"


That being said...I want to encourage you to go within and discover your own personal truth and until our paths collide again......


Peace, Love, Life, and Harmony


NaTisha Renee

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